Why does my child forget things constantly? (ADHD and Memory explained)
- Dr Harry Woodward
- Feb 17
- 4 min read
Updated: 6 days ago
AI generated image
Many parents ask:
“Why does my child forget everything?”
“Why is my ADHD child always forgetting things?”
“Is this normal forgetfulness or something else?”
If your child constantly forgets coats, lunchboxes, homework, or instructions you gave five minutes ago, you are not alone.
And no, it does not usually mean laziness.
Let’s explain what is really happening.
Is constant forgetfulness a sign of ADHD?
It can be.
Chronic forgetfulness is very common in children with ADHD.
It is usually linked to difficulties with:
Working memory
Executive function
Attention regulation
Task switching
This does not mean your child has a “bad memory.”
Most children remember information perfectly well.
The problem is holding onto it long enough to use it.
What is working memory? (Simple explanation)
Working memory is like a mental sticky note.
It helps your child:
Remember instructions
Hold steps in mind
Finish tasks
Keep track of what they’re doing
If working memory is weak, information slips away.
For example:
You say:
“Put your shoes on and grab your coat.”
Your child:
Starts
Gets distracted
Forgets the coat
Moves on
Not because they did not listen.
Because the information dropped out of their mental sticky note.
Difficulties with working memory are recognised in ADHD guidance from the NHS.
Why do ADHD children forget things so often?
ADHD affects executive function - the brain’s management system.
Executive function helps with:
Planning
Organisation
Starting tasks
Switching attention
Managing multiple steps
When this system is less reliable, children may:
Lose items frequently
Forget instructions
Miss homework deadlines
Seem disorganised
From the outside it looks careless.
From the inside it feels like:
“I really meant to… I just forgot.”
What about autism and forgetfulness?
Autistic children can also seem forgetful.
Often this is linked to:
Cognitive overload
Anxiety
Difficulty prioritising
Intense focus on one task
When the brain is overloaded, memory suffers.
The National Autistic Society explains how executive function differences can affect planning, remembering, and organisation.
Why do they remember minecraft but not their PE kit?
This is one of the most frustrating parts.
Children with ADHD often have interest-based memory.
They remember information that is:
Emotionally engaging
Highly motivating
Linked to strong interests
They struggle with information that is:
Routine
Repetitive
Low reward
Time-delayed
This is not manipulation.
It is how the ADHD brain prioritises.
Does stress make forgetfulness worse?
Yes.
When a child is:
Rushed
Anxious
Being criticised
Overwhelmed
The brain moves into stress mode.
In stress mode:
Memory and organisation are the first things to weaken.
This is why mornings often go wrong.
How to help a forgetful child with ADHD
The goal is not to demand better memory.
The goal is to support it.
1. Make memory external
Use:
Checklists
Labels
Whiteboards
Visual reminders
If the brain forgets, let the environment remember.
2. Break instructions into small steps
Instead of:
“Get ready.”
Try:
“Shoes on.”
“Now coat.”
“Now bag.”
One step at a time.
3. Build predictable routines
Repetition reduces the need to remember.
Routine becomes automatic.
4. Reduce shame
Criticism increases stress.
Stress increases forgetting.
Calm prompts work better.
These strategies are consistent with guidance from NICE on supporting executive function differences.
When should I be concerned?
Occasional forgetfulness is normal.
It may be worth exploring further if:
Forgetting is constant
School performance is affected
There are additional attention or behaviour concerns
Family stress is high
The CDC highlights memory and daily functioning difficulties as common features of ADHD.
The bottom line
If your child forgets things constantly, it is not because:
You failed
They do not care
They are choosing to be difficult
It is usually because their executive function system is still developing.
With the right supports, forgetfulness becomes manageable.
Even if the lunchbox occasionally stays at home.
Frequently asked questions: Forgetfulness in children
Is constant forgetfulness a sign of ADHD?
It can be. Frequent forgetfulness is very common in children with ADHD. It is usually linked to difficulties with working memory and executive function rather than a true memory disorder.
Why does my ADHD child forget things they were just told?
Children with ADHD often struggle with working memory. They may hear instructions clearly, but the information fades quickly before they can act on it.
Is my child being lazy if they forget things?
No. Chronic forgetfulness is rarely laziness. Most forgetful children are trying hard, but their brain struggles to hold onto information long enough to use it.
Why does my child remember game facts but forget homework?
Children with ADHD often have interest-based attention. They remember information that feels exciting or rewarding, but struggle with routine or low-interest tasks.
Do children grow out of ADHD forgetfulness?
Working memory and executive skills often improve with age and support. However, many children continue to benefit from visual reminders and structured routines.
How can I help my child stop forgetting things?
Use external supports such as checklists, visual reminders, clear routines, and one-step instructions. Making memory visible outside the brain often works better than repeating verbal reminders.
When should I worry about forgetfulness?
You may want to seek professional advice if forgetfulness is constant, affects school performance, causes emotional distress, or is linked with attention or behaviour difficulties.
Is forgetfulness a memory disorder?
Usually not. In most cases, the issue is not storing information but accessing it at the right moment. True memory disorders are much less common than executive function difficulties.
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