Is my child’s behaviour ADHD or just “normal” childhood behaviour?

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If you’re a parent, you’ll already know this uncomfortable truth: children are supposed to be noisy, messy, emotional, forgetful, impulsive, and occasionally allergic to listening.

So when your child can’t sit still, seems permanently distracted, or reacts as though you’ve asked them to climb Everest when you say “put your shoes on”, it’s completely reasonable to wonder:

Is this ADHD… or is this just childhood?

Short answer: sometimes it’s both.

Longer answer: let’s gently unpick it together.

First things first: “normal” childhood behaviour is wide and wiggly

Children’s brains are under construction for a very long time. Skills like attention, emotional regulation, planning, impulse control, and remembering instructions (otherwise known as executive functions) develop gradually and unevenly.

That means many behaviours commonly associated with ADHD are also seen in children who don’t have ADHD, especially when they are:

• Tired

• Hungry

• Overstimulated

• Excited

• Bored

• Seven years old and asked to tidy their room

Occasional forgetfulness, fidgeting, big emotions, or selective listening are all part of normal development.

So ADHD isn’t about whether these behaviours happen it’s about how often, how intensely, and how much they get in the way.

When does behaviour start to look more like ADHD?

ADHD is not diagnosed because a child is lively or distractible. It’s considered when certain patterns are persistent, developmentally unexpected, and significantly impairing.

Some key questions to ask yourself

• Is this happening most days, not just occasionally?

• Has it been present for several months or years?

• Does it occur across settings? (home and school, not just one)

• Is it interfering with learning, friendships, or family life?

• Does my child seem to be trying but struggling anyway?

ADHD behaviours tend to be consistent and exhausting, rather than situational or fleeting.

ADHD vs “normal” behaviour: a helpful comparison

Attention & focus

• Typical development: Can focus when interested; loses attention when bored or tired.

• ADHD: Struggles to sustain attention even for things they want to do, or hyperfocuses on one thing while everything else disappears.

Activity level

• Typical development: Energetic, especially in exciting situations.

• ADHD: Constant movement, fidgeting, or restlessness that feels hard to switch off.

Emotions

• Typical development: Emotional reactions that settle with support.

• ADHD: Big emotions that arrive fast, feel overwhelming, and take longer to calm.

Organisation & memory

• Typical development: Needs reminders, improves with age.

• ADHD: Regularly forgets instructions, loses items, and struggles despite reminders.

The role of executive function (the brain’s “management system”)

Many ADHD behaviours make more sense when you understand executive function — the brain skills that help us:

• Start tasks

• Stay focused

• Manage emotions

• Remember instructions

• Control impulses

In ADHD, these skills develop more slowly, not because a child isn’t trying, but because their brain is wired differently.

This is why telling a child with ADHD to “try harder” often doesn’t help and can quietly damage self-esteem.

You can read more about executive function differences via the NHS here.

What ADHD is not

Let’s clear up a few common myths:

❌ It’s not caused by poor parenting

❌ It’s not a lack of discipline

❌ It’s not too much screen time

❌ It’s not a child being “naughty”

ADHD is a recognised neurodevelopmental condition with strong genetic influences, supported by decades of research. (see NICE guidance).

When should parents consider an ADHD assessment?

You might consider exploring an assessment if:

• Concerns have been raised by school or nursery

• Daily life feels disproportionately hard

• Your child is falling behind despite support

• Emotional distress or low self-confidence is creeping in

• You’re spending a lot of time thinking “something isn’t adding up”

An assessment isn’t about labels, it’s about understanding your child’s needs properly, so support can be tailored early and kindly.

The NHS provides an overview of ADHD diagnosis here.

A gentle but important reassurance

Many parents worry that noticing ADHD means they’re “pathologising” normal childhood.

In reality, recognising neurodevelopmental differences often does the opposite- it reduces blame, increases compassion, and helps children feel understood rather than criticised.

And if it isn’t ADHD?

That information is still helpful. It guides the right kind of support either way.

Final thoughts

If you’re asking this question, you’re already doing something right.

Curiosity, reflection, and concern for your child’s experience are signs of thoughtful parenting not overreaction.

And remember: children don’t give us a hard time, they have a hard time.

Understanding why is the first step to helping.

For further reading, the CDC offers a clear overview of ADHD in children.

​Book an assessment or discuss treatment.