How do I know if I have autism?

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It’s a question many parents ask me — sometimes about their child, and sometimes (often quietly, over a cup of tea) about themselves.

You might be reading this because something has always felt a bit… different. Maybe social situations feel exhausting, routines feel essential rather than optional, or the world just seems a bit louder, brighter, and busier for you than for other people. And somewhere along the way, the word autism has started to pop into your head.

So how do you know if you might be autistic? Let’s gently unpack that.

Autism isn’t about being “broken”

First things first: autism isn’t an illness, a flaw, or something that suddenly “appears”. Autism is a lifelong neurodevelopmental difference — meaning the brain develops and processes information a little differently from early on.

Many autistic people grow up without realising this, particularly if they learned early how to mask, copy others, or quietly push through discomfort. By adulthood, that can look like coping well on the outside while feeling permanently drained on the inside.

If any of that feels familiar, you’re not alone.

Common signs of autism in adults

There’s no single checklist that fits everyone (because autism is wonderfully varied), but there are some common patterns that adults often recognise in themselves.

Social communication differences

​You might:

• Find small talk confusing, awkward, or frankly pointless

• Prefer clear, direct communication

• Miss subtle social cues — or notice them too late

• Need time alone to recover after social situations

This isn’t about not liking people. It’s about how social information is processed.

A strong need for predictability

Many autistic adults:

• Feel calmer with routines and structure

• Find sudden changes genuinely stressful (even small ones)

• Like knowing what’s coming next

This isn’t being “rigid” — it’s your nervous system liking a bit of advance notice.

​​Sensory sensitivities

You might be more sensitive to:

• Noise, lights, textures, or smells

• Busy environments (supermarkets are a frequent culprit)

Some people describe this as the world having the volume turned up too high.

​Deep interests and focus

Autistic people often have:

• Intense interests they can happily lose hours in

• A tendency to notice detail others miss

• Strong problem-solving or pattern-spotting skills

These traits can be real strengths — especially when understood and supported.

“But I’ve always managed… so can I still be autistic?”

Yes. Absolutely.

Many autistic adults have spent years adapting, masking, and pushing through — often at the cost of anxiety, burnout, or exhaustion. Realising you might be autistic doesn’t mean you’re suddenly different. It often means things finally start to make sense.

Screening questionnaires: helpful, not diagnostic

Online tools like the Autism Spectrum Quotient (AQ) can be a useful starting point, but they’re not diagnostic on their own. They’re best seen as a signpost rather than an answer.

A formal diagnosis involves a detailed developmental history and specialist assessment, not just a questionnaire score.

You can read more about autism characteristics on the NHS website here.

What about ADHD, anxiety, or both?

Autism often overlaps with other neurodevelopmental differences, particularly ADHD, anxiety, and sensory processing differences. Many adults only realise this once they start learning about neurodiversity more broadly.

If you’re curious about how autism is identified clinically, UK official NICE guidance outlines recognised diagnostic criteria and processes.

Should I seek a formal autism assessment?

That depends on why you’re asking.

Some people want clarity and self-understanding. Others need formal recognition for work, education, or support. Some simply want reassurance that they’re not “failing at life”.

All of those reasons are valid.

Reputable organisations such as the National Autistic Society offer balanced, practical guidance about diagnosis and support:

A gentle final thought

If you’re asking, “Could I be autistic?”, it’s usually because something important resonates. Whether or not you pursue a diagnosis, understanding your neurotype can be an enormous relief.

Autism isn’t about what you can’t do — it’s about understanding how your brain works, and learning to work with it rather than against it.

And that, in my experience, is often the most helpful diagnosis of all.

​Book an assessment or discuss treatment.