How do I know if I have ADHD?
- Dr Harry Woodward
- Jan 14
- 3 min read
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This is one of the most common questions I hear — often asked quietly, sometimes asked with a great deal of relief, and occasionally asked after someone has Googled “Why can’t I ever finish anything?” at 2am.
If you’re wondering whether you might have ADHD, you’re not alone. Many parents come to this realisation while supporting their own child — suddenly recognising familiar patterns and thinking, “Hang on… that sounds a bit like me.”
So let’s talk gently, clearly, and without judgement about what ADHD actually looks like, how it feels day to day, and what the next steps might be.
What is ADHD, really?
ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) is a neurodevelopmental condition, which means it relates to how the brain develops and processes information.
Despite the name, ADHD isn’t simply about “not paying attention”. It’s more helpfully thought of as a difference in executive function — the brain’s management system that helps us plan, organise, regulate emotions, and get started on things (especially boring things).
ADHD affects both children and adults, and many people — particularly women — aren’t diagnosed until later in life.
You can read a clear NHS overview here:
Common signs of ADHD in adults
ADHD doesn’t look the same in everyone, and not all adults with ADHD are hyperactive or impulsive. In fact, many are quietly overwhelmed rather than visibly restless.
Some common adult ADHD traits include:
Difficulty concentrating or staying focused (especially on tasks that don’t spark interest)
Chronic forgetfulness — keys, appointments, forms, deadlines
Feeling mentally busy, noisy, or constantly “on”
Struggling to start tasks, even when you want to do them
Emotional overwhelm or quick frustration
Poor time management (everything takes longer than expected)
Feeling exhausted from “keeping it together”
Many adults describe feeling capable but inconsistent — bright, creative, empathetic… yet constantly playing catch-up.
“But I did fine at school — can I still have ADHD?”
Yes. Absolutely.
Some people compensate very well when life is structured — school timetables, external deadlines, clear routines. ADHD often becomes more obvious when structure disappears and adult responsibilities pile up (work, parenting, relationships, admin… and more admin).
This is particularly common for parents who suddenly find themselves organising not just their own lives, but everyone else’s too.
ADHD, anxiety, or just stress?
A very sensible question — and an important one.
ADHD often overlaps with:
Anxiety
Low mood
Burnout
Sleep difficulties
Sometimes ADHD is mislabelled as anxiety, especially when someone is constantly worrying about forgetting things, being late, or letting people down.
The key difference is that ADHD symptoms are longstanding, usually present since childhood (even if unnoticed), and affect multiple areas of life.
The NICE guidance explains this overlap well.
What about women and ADHD?
Women and girls are historically under-diagnosed. Many develop strong coping strategies, internalise their struggles, and are more likely to be described as “anxious”, “emotional”, or “overwhelmed” rather than neurodivergent.
Hormonal changes, mental load, and parenting responsibilities often bring ADHD traits into sharper focus in adulthood.
How is ADHD diagnosed?
ADHD cannot be diagnosed through a single test, questionnaire, or social media checklist (tempting though those can be).
A proper assessment involves:
A detailed developmental history
Exploration of childhood and adult symptoms
Understanding how difficulties affect daily functioning
Screening for other explanations or co-occurring conditions
In the UK, this can happen through the NHS or privately, depending on circumstances and waiting times.
What should I do if this sounds like me?
First — take a breath. Wondering about ADHD is not a failure, a label, or an excuse. For many people, it’s a moment of clarity and self-compassion.
Helpful next steps might include:
Reading reliable, evidence-based information
Reflecting on lifelong patterns rather than recent stress alone
Talking to a GP or qualified clinician
Seeking a professional assessment if appropriate
You don’t need to self-diagnose — and you don’t need to rush. Understanding yourself better is the goal.
The CDC provides a helpful overview of adult ADHD here.
A final thought
If you’re asking, “Do I have ADHD?” it’s usually because something isn’t quite working as well as it could — and that’s worth listening to.
Whether the answer turns out to be ADHD or something else entirely, gaining insight can be surprisingly freeing. Many adults describe diagnosis not as a shock, but as a relief — finally having a framework that makes sense of years of effort.
And no — you’re not lazy. Your brain may just be running a different operating system.
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