Day 1 of 5 — Understanding your child's sleep (and why it's different)
The Sleep Confidence Wheel, and why night waking isn't the enemy you think it is
Welcome to the Sleep Confidence email course.
Over the next five days I'll walk you through everything in the Sleep Confidence Starter Pack, one manageable piece at a time, so you can start building better sleep for your child without feeling overwhelmed.
Today we start with the foundation: understanding what's actually going on.
The Sleep Confidence Wheel
Sleep difficulties rarely have a single cause. I map eight areas that commonly affect how neurodivergent children sleep:
Understanding Sleep
Sleep Hygiene
Screens & Technology
Anxiety & Worry
ADHD & Autism Differences
Environment & Routine
Sleep Disorders
Additional Supports & Medication
You don't need to tackle all eight at once. Over this course I'll take you through each in turn — look at all eight and notice which one resonates most with your family right now. That's where you start.
What's actually happening at night
A few things are worth knowing before you change anything:
Children have shorter sleep cycles than adults (60–90 minutes), which is why night waking between cycles is normal, not a problem to fix.
Sleep pressure builds throughout the day. A nap too late reduces that pressure and makes bedtime harder.
Night wakings only become an issue if your child can't get back to sleep independently. The goal is self-settling, not eliminating all waking.
Sharing simple, age-appropriate sleep education with your child, why sleep matters, often helps them engage better with the routine you build.
Track sleep with a diary for at least a week before making changes — baseline data is invaluable. (Full template in Day 5.)
ND Note: Many neurodivergent children have naturally later melatonin release — they genuinely are not tired at typical bedtimes. This is biology, not defiance. Understanding this changes how you respond.
Today's action step
Start a simple sleep diary tonight. You'll get the full 7-day template on Day 5, but you can start now with just four things: bedtime, roughly when they fell asleep, number of night wakings, and wake time.
A week of this gives you a real picture before you change anything.
Tomorrow: building a bedtime routine that actually holds.
Day 2 of 5 — Building a bedtime routine that actually works
The one sleep hygiene habit that matters more than any other
Yesterday we looked at what's happening with your child's sleep and why it can look different for neurodivergent kids.
Today is about building the routine that holds it all together.
Start with the single most powerful habit
If you only change one thing, make it this: keep a consistent wake time seven days a week. The body clock anchors to wake time, not bedtime, so this one habit does more for sleep quality than almost anything else.
A few more sleep hygiene basics worth building in:
Daily physical activity — exercise genuinely improves sleep quality and reduces time to fall asleep.
Caffeine off the menu after midday, including cola, energy drinks, some teas and dark chocolate.
Keep the bedroom for sleep only — stimulating toys, games consoles and crafts encourage activity rather than rest.
Avoid large meals within two hours of bedtime, though a small carbohydrate-rich snack (oat biscuit, warm milk) can actually help.
Protect the 60 minutes before bed — keep it calm, predictable and low-stimulation.
ND Note: For children with ADHD, enforcing a consistent wake time on weekends can feel cruel, but "social jet lag" (sleeping in at weekends) significantly worsens the school-week sleep pattern. Aim for no more than 30–60 minutes' difference.
Screens deserve their own mention
Screens are one of the biggest levers you can pull:
Remove all screens from the bedroom, phones, tablets, gaming devices, TVs. Even on standby they disrupt sleep.
Aim for screens off at least 60 minutes before bed (90 is better) — blue light suppresses melatonin.
If screens must be used in the evening, use night mode and reduce brightness.
Video games and fast-paced social media are the most activating — prioritise removing these first.
Replace screen time with something calming your child genuinely enjoys: audiobooks, Lego, drawing, puzzles.
Give at least one advance warning before screens go off ("15 minutes left") — abrupt endings increase dysregulation.
ND Note: For many children with ADHD, screens are self-regulating — they use them to manage boredom and emotional arousal. Removing them without offering an equally regulating alternative often backfires. Transition, don't abruptly stop.
Today's action step
Build a bedtime routine for your child (you'll find the full Bedtime Routine Planner on the course webpage). Once it's built, keep it identical every night: same order, same timings, same words. Even small changes, a different parent doing bedtime, a new soap smell, can unsettle a neurodivergent child enough to delay sleep significantly. Consistency isn't boring, it's regulating.
Once the routine feels solid, consider making a visual version (photos or pictures) your child can follow independently. It reduces the need for you to prompt every step, which reduces friction at bedtime.
Tomorrow: the bedroom itself, and why small sensory details matter more than you'd think.
Day 3 of 5 — Setting up a sleep-friendly bedroom
The sensory details that quietly wreck (or rescue) a night's sleep
For neurodivergent children, especially those with sensory processing differences, the bedroom environment can make or break sleep. Today we go through it, and the routine that anchors it, piece by piece.
Routine and room, together
Establish a bedtime routine with a fixed sequence of steps, at the same time, every night.
Create a visual bedtime schedule using photos or pictures — particularly powerful for autistic children, and it reduces the need for repeated verbal prompting.
If your child is lying awake for a long time, try bedtime fading: temporarily set bedtime 30–60 minutes later, at their natural sleep time, then gradually move it earlier once they're falling asleep quickly.
Teach your child to associate their bed with sleep. If they're awake and distressed for more than 20 minutes, briefly leaving the room and returning for a quiet activity is better than lying there in frustration.
Then work through the bedroom itself
Light: fit blackout blinds or curtains (priority), use a red or amber toned night light rather than blue or white, turn all screens off or cover them, and block out street light or car headlights.
Sound: consider white or brown noise (priority), turn TVs and music off in adjacent rooms by bedtime, keep ear defenders available if your child is noise-sensitive (priority), and remove or cover any ticking clocks.
Temperature: aim for a cool room, 16–18°C, and keep a weighted blanket available if your child benefits from one (priority).
Sensory comfort: cut labels from pyjamas (priority), make sure bedding texture is comfortable for this child (priority), avoid new strong scents from air fresheners or laundry detergent changes, and keep familiar smells and comfort objects present.
Predictability & safety: a visual bedtime schedule visible in the room (priority), and make sure your child knows what happens if they wake in the night.
Remember: a change that seems tiny to you, a new pillow, a different laundry detergent, a light left on in the hallway, can be profoundly disruptive for a child with heightened sensory sensitivity. When sleep suddenly gets worse, always check the environment first.
ND Note: Holiday and travel disruption can be particularly severe for neurodivergent children. Plan ahead: take familiar bedding from home, use the same white noise on a phone, and keep the same routine even in a different place. Previewing the environment with photos beforehand can help too.
Today's action step
Go through the full Bedroom Environment Checklist tonight (on the course webpage) and pick off the items marked "priority" first. You don't need to fix everything at once, small sensory changes often produce the biggest improvements.
Tomorrow: big feelings, racing minds, and what's actually different about ADHD and autistic sleep.
Day 4 of 5 — Big feelings, racing minds and how ADHD/autism change sleep
Why bedtime is when the worries show up, and what actually helps
Bedtime is often when the day catches up with a child: worries surface, minds race, bodies struggle to settle. Today covers two closely linked areas: anxiety at bedtime, and the specific ways ADHD and autism can affect sleep.
Anxiety & worry
Try a "worry time": 10 minutes earlier in the evening (not at bedtime) set aside specifically for voicing worries. Once worry time ends, bedtime worries can be acknowledged but deferred to the next day's worry time.
A worry notebook, worry box or worry stones give your child somewhere physical to "contain" a worry.
Simple breathing techniques, 4-7-8 breathing or box breathing, can genuinely help anxious children at bedtime.
Avoid problem-solving worries at bedtime, as it reinforces that bedtime is for thinking. Acknowledge the worry, validate the feeling, and defer the solution.
Consider whether school-based anxiety is the real driver — separation anxiety, social difficulties and perfectionism often surface at bedtime, once the busyness of the day fades.
If anxiety is pervasive, work with school or a therapist; sleep strategies alone won't resolve a significant anxiety disorder.
ND Note: Autistic children may replay social scenarios, conversations or perceived failures at bedtime with real distress. This isn't "overthinking", it's how their brain processes the day. A decompression period before bed, alone with a preferred activity, can significantly reduce this.
What's different about ADHD and autistic sleep
Delayed sleep phase: if your child genuinely can't fall asleep until late, try gradually moving bedtime earlier by 15 minutes every few days, rather than insisting on an unreachable bedtime.
Racing mind (ADHD): audiobooks, podcasts or quiet music give the mind something gentle to focus on, reducing the internal noise that prevents sleep onset.
Sensory regulation before bed: some children benefit from proprioceptive input, heavy work, deep pressure, squeezes, to help regulate the nervous system. A weighted blanket, firm massage, or "squishing" between sofa cushions can help.
ADHD medication timing: stimulant medication taken too late in the day can significantly delay sleep. Discuss timing with your prescriber if this is a concern.
Interoception: some autistic children genuinely can't tell when they're tired; they don't feel the internal signal. A set bedtime, rather than waiting until they "feel tired", matters here.
Social stories: a personalised social story about sleep and bedtime can reduce resistance and anxiety around the routine for autistic children.
ND Note: If you've tried good routines, sensory support and behavioural strategies consistently for several weeks and sleep remains severely disrupted, this may point to an additional biological factor: delayed sleep phase disorder, sleep apnoea, restless legs. Speak to your GP or paediatrician.
Today's action step
Pick one thing from today's email that feels most relevant to your child right now, and try it this week. You don't need to do everything at once, just find your starting point.
Tomorrow, the final email: how to read your sleep diary, and how to know when it's time to ask for extra help.
Day 5 of 5 — Reading your sleep diary, and knowing when to ask for help
The signs that mean it's time to talk to your GP
This is the final email in the course, thank you for sticking with it. Today we bring it together: how to read the sleep diary you (hopefully) started on Day 1, what medical causes to watch for, and reassurance about what "good enough" looks like.
Reading your sleep diary
If you've been tracking this week, look for patterns rather than judging any single night:
Is there a pattern to the worst nights?
Are weekends different from weekdays?
Does mood on waking predict the day ahead?
A note on what you're observing: if your child has ADHD, they may appear to fall asleep quickly but still wake frequently. If autistic, they may lie still without actually being asleep, their body calm but their mind still processing. Note what you observe, not what you assume.
Sleep disorders worth knowing about
Most sleep difficulties respond well to the strategies in this course. But sometimes poor sleep has a medical cause, and recognising it can be genuinely life-changing:
Regular loud snoring: snoring most nights, especially with gasping, choking, pauses in breathing or heavy sweating during sleep. May indicate sleep apnoea; enlarged tonsils and adenoids are a common cause in children.
Restless legs: "my legs won't stay still", constant movement, kicking, or discomfort in the legs at bedtime or during sleep. Ask for iron levels to be checked.
Frequent night terrors: screaming, appearing terrified but unresponsive, no memory of the episode in the morning. This is a night terror, not a nightmare, they typically occur in the first 1–2 hours of sleep. Stay calm, ensure safety, don't wake the child. Usually outgrown naturally.
Cannot fall asleep until very late: consistent sleep onset of midnight or later, with great difficulty waking in the morning, despite trying good routines. May be Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder.
Extreme daytime sleepiness: your child seems exhausted no matter how much they sleep, falls asleep involuntarily during the day, or is unable to function at school.
Persistent severe difficulties: you've implemented good routines consistently for 4–6 weeks with no improvement. This warrants professional review rather than more self-help.
Extra support, if you need it
Melatonin: prescription melatonin (not over-the-counter supplements) is commonly prescribed for neurodivergent children with sleep onset difficulties. It works best as part of a good sleep routine, not as a standalone solution, discuss it with your paediatrician.
CBTi (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Insomnia): the most evidence-based treatment for chronic insomnia, with adapted versions for children. Ask for a referral if problems are severe and persistent.
Occupational therapy: an OT with sensory integration experience can provide detailed guidance on sensory supports at bedtime, weighted blankets, proprioceptive activities, environmental modifications.
Sleep clinics: many children's hospitals have specialist sleep services. A referral may be warranted if problems are severe, longstanding, or suspected to have a medical cause.
Iron supplementation: for children with restless legs or periodic limb movement disorder, iron deficiency is a treatable and often overlooked cause. Ask for a serum ferritin test.
ND Note: Over-the-counter melatonin in the UK is not licensed for children and doses are often poorly standardised. Prescribed melatonin from a paediatrician is safer and more appropriate. Please don't self-medicate, always discuss it with a doctor first.
Ask for help early
You do not have to wait until things are desperate. If you are concerned, contact your GP, health visitor, or paediatrician sooner rather than later.
And finally
If your child's sleep has improved, even a little, that is meaningful progress. Perfect sleep is not the goal. Better sleep is.
Sleep problems in neurodivergent children are common, complex, and rarely your fault. The strategies in this course work best when approached with patience, consistency and self-compassion. If one approach hasn't worked, that doesn't mean sleep can't improve, it may simply mean a different approach is needed. Keep going.
Thank you for spending this week with me. If you'd like more personalised support, you're welcome to book a consultation, or just reply to this email.