🌱 Parent Wellbeing - You Matter Too
Price
$0
Duration
5 Days
About the Course
A free five-day email course designed to help you care for yourself as well as your child. Through five short lessons, you'll discover practical ways to protect your wellbeing, refill your emotional reserves and build sustainable habits that help your whole family thrive—because you matter too.
This course is written to accompany the Parent Wellbeing - You Matter Too - Webinar and Starter Pack.
Watch the Webinar Replay
Your Instructor
Dr Harry Woodward
Dr Harry Woodward, Consultant Paediatrician, Medical Director NeuroDiverse Kids
YOU MATTER TOO
Five-Day Parent Wellbeing Course
DAY 1
Firstly, how are you doing?
Firstly, thank you.
Thank you for taking the time to watch the You Matter Too webinar and for downloading the Parent Wellbeing Starter Pack.
I know life is busy.
And if you are parenting a neurodivergent child, “busy” may not come close to describing it.
There are appointments.
School meetings.
Forms.
Research.
Advocacy.
Sleepless nights.
Difficult conversations.
And the endless background thinking that continues even when you are supposed to be resting.
But today, I would like to ask you a slightly different question.
How are you doing?
Not:
“How is your child?”
Not:
“How is school going?”
Not:
“How are the assessments progressing?”
But:
How are you?
Prefer watching to reading? Click here to watch the video version of today’s lesson.
Otherwise, read on.
Why Your Wellbeing Matters
Many loving, dedicated parents quietly believe that their own wellbeing should come last.
Their child needs support.
Their family needs them.
There is too much to do.
So they tell themselves:
“I’ll rest when things settle down.”
“I’ll look after myself when we get through this difficult patch.”
“I just need to keep going.”
The problem is that, for many families, things never fully settle down.
One challenge is replaced by another.
And before long, constantly running on empty begins to feel normal.
But being accustomed to exhaustion does not mean it is not affecting you.
When we are depleted, it becomes harder to:
Remain patient.
Think clearly.
Regulate our emotions.
Make decisions.
Connect with the people we love.
Respond in the way we would like.
This is not a personal failing.
It is what happens when a human being is asked to operate with an almost-empty battery.
The 5% Battery Problem
Imagine trying to use your phone when its battery is permanently stuck on 5%.
You might keep it going for a while.
You would close unnecessary apps.
Reduce the brightness.
Avoid using anything that consumes too much energy.
But eventually, its performance would begin to suffer.
Parents are no different.
You do not need to be perfectly rested, endlessly calm or permanently cheerful.
But you do need enough emotional energy to keep showing up.
Because children often borrow our calm before they develop their own.
And we cannot lend calm when we have none left ourselves.
Today’s Small Step
Open your Parent Wellbeing Confidence Wheel from the Starter Pack.
Look at each of the eight spokes:
Sleep for Carers
Boundaries and Expectations
Stress Toolkit
Support Networks
Identity and Values
Physical Health
Time for Self
Self-Compassion
Do not try to fix all eight.
Simply ask yourself:
“Which area feels most difficult for me at the moment?”
Choose one spoke.
That is all you need to do today.
Not eight changes.
Not a complete life overhaul.
Just one honest starting point.
Because looking after yourself is not taking something away from your child.
It is giving something to them.
Tomorrow, we are going to explore one of the biggest reasons parents remain exhausted:
The invisible load they carry every single day.
P.S. You do not need to earn the right to care for yourself. Your wellbeing matters simply because you do.
YOU MATTER TOO
Five-Day Parent Wellbeing Course
DAY 2
Welcome to Day 2 of You Matter Too.
Yesterday, I asked you to choose one spoke from your Parent Wellbeing Confidence Wheel.
One area where you may need a little more support.
Today, I want to talk about something that helps explain why so many parents feel exhausted:
The invisible load.
Prefer watching to reading? Click here to watch the video version of today’s lesson.
Otherwise, read on.
Why Are You So Tired?
Parents sometimes say to me:
“I don’t understand why I’m so tired.”
“I haven’t even done that much today.”
“I should be coping better than this.”
But parenting is not only made up of the things you physically do.
It also includes everything you remember, anticipate, organise and worry about.
It is remembering which forms need completing.
Keeping track of appointments.
Wondering whether school understands.
Researching strategies.
Preparing your child for transitions.
Thinking about meals, sleep, medication, friendships and behaviour.
Replaying difficult conversations.
Planning how to prevent tomorrow’s problems.
And carrying the emotional impact when your child is struggling.
This is sometimes called the mental load or invisible load.
And although nobody else can see it, your body and brain still carry it.
Why “Just Try to Relax” Rarely Works
When your mind is holding dozens of unfinished tasks, simply being told to relax may not feel very helpful.
You may sit down physically while your mind continues running.
You may go to bed while mentally reviewing tomorrow.
You may finally get time alone and spend it completing forms or researching support.
This is why rest is not always the same as recovery.
You can stop moving without truly switching off.
And when that happens repeatedly, exhaustion accumulates.
The Open Tabs Exercise
Imagine that every responsibility is an open tab on your computer.
One tab for school.
One for sleep.
One for medication.
One for an upcoming appointment.
One for a difficult friendship.
One for a form you need to complete.
One for something somebody said three weeks ago that you are still worrying about.
Individually, each tab might be manageable.
But when fifty tabs are open at once, everything begins to slow down.
Today, I would like you to close—or at least name—some of those tabs.
Take a sheet of paper or use the Sustainable Parenting Planner in your Starter Pack.
Write down everything currently occupying space in your head.
Do not organise it yet.
Do not solve it.
Simply get it out of your mind and onto the page.
Then place each item into one of three categories:
1. Needs attention soon
Something genuinely important or time-sensitive.
2. Can wait
Something that matters, but not today.
3. Not mine to carry alone
Something that could be shared, delegated or discussed with somebody else.
This exercise does not make every responsibility disappear.
But it can help you see something important:
Not everything needs your attention at the same time.
And not everything has to be carried by you alone.
A Better Question
Instead of asking:
“How can I get everything done?”
Try asking:
“What matters most today?”
There will always be more you could do.
Another strategy to research.
Another email to send.
Another book to read.
Another problem to solve.
But sustainable parenting requires choices.
You do not need to do everything.
You need to do what matters most—and give yourself permission to leave some things unfinished.
Tomorrow, we are going to create something practical:
Your personal stress toolkit.
Not an unrealistic self-care routine.
Not an expensive spa weekend.
A collection of small things that genuinely help you feel more like yourself.
P.S. There are seasons in family life when everybody being safe, loved and reasonably fed is a genuine success. Please allow that to be enough.DAY 3
YOU MATTER TOO
Five-Day Parent Wellbeing Course
DAY 3
Welcome to Day 3 of You Matter Too.
Today, we are going to build your personal stress toolkit.
Because stress is inevitable.
But remaining permanently stressed is not sustainable.
Prefer watching to reading? Click here to watch the video version of today’s lesson.
Otherwise, read on.
The Problem With Most Self-Care Advice
When parents hear the words “self-care,” they are often presented with suggestions that feel completely disconnected from real family life.
Take the afternoon off.
Go away for the weekend.
Have a spa day.
Develop an elaborate morning routine.
These things may be lovely.
But they may not be realistic when you are managing work, school, appointments, caring responsibilities and a child who needs you.
So parents conclude:
“I don’t have time for self-care.”
But self-care does not have to be large, expensive or time-consuming.
It simply needs to help restore some of what life is taking out of you.
Think in Terms of Maintenance
Most of us do not wait until a car has completely broken down before giving it fuel.
We top it up.
We check the tyres.
We respond when warning lights appear.
Yet many parents wait until they are completely overwhelmed before attending to their own needs.
By that point, even deciding what might help can feel like another exhausting task.
This is why it helps to create a stress toolkit in advance.
A menu of small actions you can choose from when your emotional battery begins to run low.
Your Toolkit Needs Different Tools
One strategy will not work in every situation.
Sometimes you need to release energy.
Sometimes you need comfort.
Sometimes you need connection.
Sometimes you need silence.
Sometimes you need practical help.
Using the Stress Toolkit Builder in your Starter Pack, consider creating five categories.
1. Things That Calm My Body
A slow walk.
Breathing slowly.
Stretching.
A hot shower.
Sitting outside.
Listening to calming music.
2. Things That Clear My Mind
Writing down your thoughts.
Prayer.
Reading.
A short drive.
Gardening.
Completing one small task that has been hanging over you.
3. Things That Help Me Release Stress
Exercise.
Dancing.
Running.
Cleaning while listening to music.
Crying.
Talking honestly with somebody you trust.
4. Things That Help Me Feel Connected
Calling a friend.
Messaging another parent who understands.
Spending time with your partner.
Attending a faith or community group.
Joining a supportive parent community.
5. Things That Help Me Feel Like Myself
A hobby.
Music.
Creativity.
Learning.
Sport.
Time alone.
Anything that reminds you that you are a whole person—not only somebody who cares for others.
The Five-Minute Rule
You do not need an hour.
Choose one thing from your toolkit that takes five minutes or less.
Then decide when you will do it.
Not “sometime this week.”
Choose a moment.
After the school run.
Before everybody wakes up.
While the kettle boils.
When your child is occupied.
After they go to bed.
Small actions are easier to repeat.
And repetition matters far more than intensity.
Ten minutes of walking three times a week may support you more than waiting six months for the perfect opportunity to begin an ambitious exercise programme.
A five-minute conversation with somebody who understands may help more than telling yourself you should be able to cope alone.
A cup of tea enjoyed without simultaneously completing three tasks may be a meaningful act of recovery.
The Most Important Question
When building your toolkit, do not ask:
“What should a good parent do?”
Ask:
“What genuinely helps me feel more like myself?”
Your answer may be different from somebody else’s.
That is the point.
Your toolkit is personal.
Today, choose one tool and use it.
Not after everything else is finished.
Because everything else may never be finished.
Tomorrow, we are going to talk about one of the greatest barriers to parent wellbeing:
Guilt.
The guilt of resting.
The guilt of saying no.
The guilt of not doing more.
And why “good enough” parenting may be exactly what your child needs.
P.S. The things that help us most are often the first things we abandon when life becomes busy. Protecting one of them is not indulgent. It is essential maintenance.
YOU MATTER TOO
Five-Day Parent Wellbeing Course
DAY 4
Welcome to Day 4 of You Matter Too.
Today, I want to talk about guilt.
Because many parents know what would support their wellbeing.
They may need more sleep.
More help.
Time alone.
Movement.
Connection.
A firmer boundary.
But then guilt appears.
Prefer watching to reading? Click here to watch the video version of today’s lesson.
Otherwise, read on.
The Voice of Parent Guilt
Parent guilt often sounds like this:
“I should be doing more.”
“I should be more patient.”
“I should be able to cope.”
“I shouldn’t need help.”
“I shouldn’t take time away from my child.”
“Other parents seem to manage.”
The word should can be incredibly heavy.
It creates an imaginary version of parenting in which we remain endlessly calm, organised, available and emotionally regulated.
We attend every meeting.
Remember every form.
Respond perfectly to every difficult moment.
Meet everybody’s needs.
And somehow remain healthy, rested and cheerful at the same time.
That parent does not exist.
Perfection Is Not the Goal
Your child does not need you to respond perfectly every time.
They need a parent who continues to show up.
A parent who tries.
A parent who repairs after difficult moments.
A parent who is willing to learn.
A parent who is human.
There will be days when you lose your patience.
Days when you say the wrong thing.
Days when dinner is not particularly nutritious.
Days when screens are used more than you planned.
Days when survival takes priority over an ideal routine.
Those days do not erase your love, commitment or all the things you get right.
They mean you are parenting under real-life conditions.
Good Enough Parenting
“Good enough” does not mean careless or uninterested.
It means accepting that children do not require perfection in order to feel loved and secure.
They need consistency more often than not.
Connection more often than not.
Repair when things go wrong.
And a parent who has enough emotional reserves to remain present over the long term.
Sometimes, lowering the bar is the healthiest thing you can do.
Because sustainable parenting is not about performing brilliantly for one day and collapsing for the next seven.
It is about finding a way of caring that can continue.
The Friend Exercise
Think about somebody you care about deeply.
Imagine they came to you and said:
“I’m exhausted.”
“I feel like I’m failing.”
“I’m trying so hard, but I still get things wrong.”
What would you say?
Would you tell them they were useless?
Would you tell them to stop complaining and try harder?
Would you remind them of every mistake they had made?
Of course not.
You might say:
“This is incredibly hard.”
“You are carrying so much.”
“You are doing better than you think.”
“You are allowed to rest.”
“You do not have to do this alone.”
Today, write down what you would say to that friend.
Then read it back to yourself.
Because you deserve the same compassion you offer so freely to everybody else.
One Boundary to Protect Your Wellbeing
Self-compassion is not only about speaking kindly to yourself.
It can also mean protecting yourself.
Ask:
“What is one thing I need to say no to, reduce, share or postpone?”
Perhaps you need to decline an unnecessary commitment.
Ask somebody to take over a task.
Stop researching at a certain time each evening.
Protect one hour at the weekend.
Attend an appointment for your own health.
Or accept that one task simply does not need to be done.
Every time you say no to something unnecessary, you create space for something more important.
Tomorrow is our final lesson.
We will bring everything together and create a simple plan for moving forward—without trying to transform your entire life overnight.
P.S. Your child does not need a parent who never struggles. They need a parent who knows that struggling does not make them a failure.
YOU MATTER TOO
Five-Day Parent Wellbeing Course
DAY 5
Welcome to the fifth and final day of You Matter Too.
Over the last few days, we have explored:
Why your wellbeing matters.
The invisible load you may be carrying.
How to create a practical stress toolkit.
Why you do not need to parent perfectly.
And how boundaries and self-compassion can protect your emotional reserves.
Today, we are going to bring everything together.
Do Not Try to Fix All Eight Spokes
When you look at the Parent Wellbeing Confidence Wheel, it can be tempting to identify everything that needs to change.
You may think:
I need more sleep.
I need to exercise.
I need better boundaries.
I need more support.
I need time alone.
I need to look after my physical health.
I need to stop being so hard on myself.
And suddenly, a resource designed to support you becomes another overwhelming to-do list.
That is not the goal.
You do not need to work on all eight spokes.
You need to choose one.
One Specific Problem
Look again at the spoke you selected on Day 1.
What is the specific difficulty?
Not:
“My wellbeing is terrible.”
Try to make it smaller and clearer.
For example:
“I stay awake researching long after everybody has gone to bed.”
“I have nobody I can speak to honestly.”
“I have stopped doing anything I enjoy.”
“I say yes to every request, even when I am exhausted.”
“I have postponed my own healthcare appointment.”
“I speak to myself harshly whenever I make a mistake.”
The more specific the problem, the easier it becomes to identify a realistic next step.
One Small Action
Now ask:
“What is one small action that would make this area 5% better?”
Not perfect.
Not completely solved.
Just 5% better.
That might mean:
Going to bed thirty minutes earlier twice this week.
Sending one message to a trusted friend.
Taking a ten-minute walk.
Booking your own medical appointment.
Saying no to one non-essential commitment.
Asking your partner or family member to take responsibility for one task.
Restarting a hobby for fifteen minutes.
Writing down one compassionate response to use when guilt appears.
Small actions count.
In fact, small actions are often more powerful because they can be repeated.
One Time
Decide exactly when you will take that action.
“I’ll try to rest more” is difficult to act upon.
“On Wednesday at 8:30 pm, I will stop researching and read for twenty minutes” is much clearer.
“Someone should help me more” may remain a hope.
“Tonight, I will ask my partner to manage Thursday’s school communication” becomes a plan.
Specific actions create movement.
One Person
Ask yourself:
“Who could support me with this?”
It may be your partner.
A family member.
A friend.
Another parent.
Your GP.
A therapist or counsellor.
A support group.
A faith community.
A professional.
You do not have to reach crisis point before you are entitled to support.
And you do not need to justify why you need it.
Parenting was never intended to be a solo endeavour.
Your One-Spoke Plan
Complete these four sentences in your Sustainable Parenting Planner:
The spoke I am focusing on is:
The specific difficulty is:
My small next step is:
I will do it on:
That is your plan.
One spoke.
One problem.
One action.
One time.
No complete reinvention required.
Where Do You Go From Here?
This may be the final email in this five-day series, but I hope it marks the beginning of something important.
A different way of thinking about your wellbeing.
Not as an optional extra.
Not as something you earn after everybody else is cared for.
But as something that helps sustain your entire family.
There may still be difficult days.
You may still become overwhelmed.
You will not always get everything right.
None of us do.
But perhaps you can begin noticing your own needs a little sooner.
Asking for help a little earlier.
Speaking to yourself a little more kindly.
And remembering that supporting your child and supporting yourself are not competing priorities.
They belong together.
Because looking after yourself is not taking something away from your child.
It is giving something to them.
And your child does not need a perfect parent.
Your child needs you.
Please be kind to yourself.
Celebrate the small wins.
Lower the bar when you need to.
Accept help when it is offered.
Rest without guilt.
And remember:
You matter too.
P.S. I hope the You Matter Too Starter Pack becomes something you return to whenever your emotional battery is running low. You do not have to complete everything at once. Simply come back to the wheel and choose your next spoke.